


Give me fucking strength

by Stuckytrashaf



Series: Bullshit I write when i'm drunk/high/just tired [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Battle of Hogwarts, Coming Out, F/F, F/M, Femslash, Fluff and Angst, Lavender-centric, M/M, Not Really Anything, Post-Battle of Hogwarts, Slash, lavender needs to be loved, vaguely angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-08
Updated: 2016-05-06
Packaged: 2018-05-31 22:37:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6490069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stuckytrashaf/pseuds/Stuckytrashaf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I wrote this at 1am.<br/>I'm tired, I love Lavender Brown and she deserves to be protected.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

 Lavender wanted to cry.    

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                She wanted to curl herself up in a bundle of blankets and comforting warmth and never move.                                                      She wanted to accept defeat.                                                                                                                                                                                                                    She wanted to give up on this stupid war and move to Hawaii.                                                                                                                                                                    Or Miami, or Florida. Or even the fucking Alps. She just wanted to get away. 

Away from First Years being tortured for the sake of a demonstration, for the sake of some pureblood, soon-to-be Death Eater learning how to inflict pain on those  they deem lesser, or 'unworthy' of magic. Unworthy of life. 

 Being at Hogwarts reminds her of those who aren't with her. Those deemed lesser. Muggle-Borns. 'Mudbloods', though she'd never call them that. It's a filthy word.      A slur.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Besides, Lavender knows Muggle-Borns. Dean Thomas suspects that he's Muggle-Born, or he was raised that way, at least. Though by those standards, Harry Potter  could be considered a Muggle-Born. And the Granger girl, Lavender never really liked her; despite spending 6 years sharing a dorm room and plenty of mutual friends.  She supposes, now that she knows better, that her dislike came from jealously.

 Hermione was intelligent, and kind, and Ron liked her. That had been the worst thing. Ron.                                                                                                              Lavender knows now that she never _really_ liked Ron. He was cute, sure. And he was a star Quidditch player, which she liked. But besides small talk in the Great Hall and  Quidditch discussions with Seamus and Dean, because she would never admit it but Lavender knew just as much about the sport as those boys, she and Ron never    really even spoke. Even when they dated all they ever seemed to do was snog. 

 But it was the idea of it, that Hermione was better than her in every way, and now she was stealing her boyfriend. Lavender resented her for a while, but she was  ultimately fine.

 Because she had Pavarti. Her best friend was the only person who could control the frustration and anger which Lavender often felt. Her all-consuming rage was little  known as a result of Pavarti's success in controlling Lavender. And so only their close friends Dean Thomas and Seamus Finnegan knew of it, they'd nicknamed her  'She-Hulk' in reference to some Muggle thing, sometime around third year when she -very loudly- proclaimed that was was 

' _very angry with Sirius Black for disturbing my sleep and making Pav so scared! And I don't care how handsome he is!'_

 

 But that's diverting from the story.

 Lavender had been very upset when Ron dumped her _in his fucking sleep_ -pardon her language- for Hermione Granger. Lavender remembers her conversation with  Pavarti quite clearly, because it was the last time she was able to cry freely.                                                                                                                                                  Cry without thinking that she has to be brave, or at least look brave, for the younger  students. For her friends. For Pav. Because _of course_ she has to be brave for Pav.

 And after the cry, Pav had tried to make her feel better.

  _'Lav you didn't even fancy Weasley that much. He's an ugly, ginger prat and you're way out of his league. I know Shay and Dean liked him but honestly I think you could've  done a lot better, cos you're really pretty Lav, gorgeous, even.'_

_'Do you really think?'_

_'Course I do, you nargle, why'd I be saying it otherwise?'_

_'Who do you think I could've got with? Better than Ron, I mean?'_

_'Do you still fancy Seamus? Cos you could get him, easy!'_

_'You reckon?'_

_'For sure! In fact, why don't I get you a date with him? I'm sure he's free, seeing as how Dean's always off with Ginny Weasley,'_

 

 

 It's ironic how wrong Pav had been. It wasn't even another week before Lavender walked in on Seamus kissing someone else. She supposed she should have known, in retrospect Seamus was as gay as Merlin himself. 

 Dean had been a surprise. Though it explained why he and Ginny were having so many relationship problems.


	2. Lavender needs a break tbh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This war is getting a bit much, but Lavenders always got her friends to keep her grounded.
> 
> (If this is slightly OOC and diverts from canon. Bitch, I know. And I know what I'm about, ok. It's supposed to divert from canon)

When Neville emerges from the passageway with the happiest expression she's seen in maybe the whole of the year, Lavender knows somethings up. Something good? But is that too much to hope for? Luna's been MIA for months now, so it can't be her. And she's sure Nevilles crush on Ginny Weasley has passed. So not a girl. But then, what? Thankfully she doesn't have to wait long to find out, because Neville is saying something and then three figures appear behind him. And she knows them. She would recognise that bushy hair, and those glasses anywhere. And Ron. He's taller than she remembers. And he seems more muscular? Had he been working out? But that's a stupid question. Of course he would get 'excersise' or something of the like on the run from Voldemort. The room seems frozen for a moment and noone says a word. Only a moment. Then everyone springs into action, the realisation of what's just happened hitting them. She hears cries of "Oh my god!" And "HARRY!" "Ron?" "Hermione!" And still, no one moves. Until Seamus, always bold, steps forward and pulls Ron and Harry into a hug, a smile on his face like Lavender hasn't seen since he told her Dean wouldn't be returning for their Seventh year. People move then. Parvarti runs to Hermione and grips her in a hug that surprises both Lavender and Hermine herself. The girls had never been close. Nothing like separation to bring people together, Lavender mused. Lavender herself stepped towards the trio when people were finished hugging them and before they thought to hound them with questions. "Harry, Hermione," she greets them, a shy smile gracing her lips. To her surprise, Hermione gives her a gentle hug, "It's good to see you," She sounds honest. Harry smiles at her, telling her how she's so strong for putting up with everything the Carrows put them through. So Neville has updated them, then. "Thanks," Lavender smiles modestly, she knows she has grown and changed plenty since they last saw her. Her eyes flit to Ron, then. He is watching her cautiously. Like he is worried that she holds the breakup against him. In case she is angry. She doesn't have it in her to be mad. "Ron," she says simply, allowing a genuine smile to take over her features. He seems suprised then, but not nearly as suprised as he must have been when she threw her arms round him in a friendly embrace. "You look good. Or at least better than I thought you would," she teases, and he laughs. It's easier than she even hoped it would be. "I'd say the same to you, but bloody hell..." Ron gestures to the bruises on her neck and face, she'd stopped concealing them months ago. Lavender shrugs at that. "It's not so bad," And it isn't. Not really. At least she isn't a muggleborn. Ron opens his mouth to reply but is cut of by a few cries. At first Lavender thinks she will have to fight someone, and she realises how umprepeared she is. That her guard is completely down. But she realises the screams are of delight. She turns to see another three teenagers running into the room, through the crowd. Ginny Weasley in the lead, but she hasn't been worrying about Ginny. A pretty blonde is gripping Ginnys hand and beaming around the room. Luna Lovegood. So she is OK. If she was paying more attention to the girl she would see the more-than-friendly glances the blonde sent the girl she had attached herself too. And the way her face lit up when she noticed Neville Longbottom beaming right back at her in the crowd. But Lavender wasn't paying Luna any attention. It's the boy to Ginny's left that has Lavender's heart skip a beat, and sends her glancing around the room to lock eyes with Seamus Finnegan. But the boys eyes are already fixed on his 'Muggle-Born' friend (more-than-a-friend?) And she sees the exacts moment that Dean notices Seamus, because his eyes light up and his face breaks into a grin to wide it rivals her own. Forget that. It knocks her own out the damn park. The look in his eyes is love. Pure and true, and Lavender would envy it if she wasn't so damn happy. For them. For herself. Because she missed Dean too, goddamnit. And suddenly Dean practically flies past Ginny, and the crowd parts for him, knowingly. He is met halfway as Seamus throws himself into his friend's (boyfriend's?) open, waiting arms, and is swept of his feet. Literally. The whole rooms eyes are on them, if only for a second. Because that's probably how quickly it happens. Watching them feels like an intrusion. Lavender wants to look away but she can't seem to tear her eyes away from the boys' reunion. They stand in each others arms for a while, not knowing that Lavender can't look away. Not caring who watches them. And that's love, and she wants it. Needs it. Everyone else seems to understand privacy (sort of) and now fix their attention on Ginny Weasley, who still hasn't moved. Her face is unreadable. Expressionless. Scanning the room. Until she lays her eyes on the trio at the front of the room. Or, more specifically, on Harry. She walks slowly towards him, Lavender thinks she can seem her shaking a little. Harry doesn't move for a moment, then he does and he moves fast. Sweeping her into the air and spinning her around in a perfect parallel to her friends earlier reunion. Until Ginny presses her lips to Harry's and kisses him. They kiss like the need eachother, like they would die if they didn't. Rushed and not at all gentle and Lavender sighs sadly. She needs this. She needs love. No amount of telling herself that she is fine alone will do. Because whilst she knows this to be true, isn't life just that much better when you have someone to share it with? "Honestly, it's like I'm not even here!" Lavender chuckles softly at Rons comment and hears someone retort with, "Well she's got six brothers, there's only one Harry," And again, a smile sits on her lips. She hasn't smiled so much all year as she has in this one day, and it makes her laugh, eyes searching for Parvarti, wanting her best friend to share in her joy. And there she is, eyes wide with glee and arms wrapped around a smiling Dean. Parvarti has less bruises than Lavender. The professors didn't hit her to often- not for lack of trying. But between Padma and Lavender, Parvarti had been somewhat protected. Lavender made her was towards her best friend in a few strides, and threw her arms around Dean and Parvarti- who were still standing closely together. "I can't believe you're here, like you're really here. And you're completely alive!" Lavender gushed happily at Dean as she gripped him around the torso with one arm, she other around Parvartis shoulders. They couldn't rebel in their glee for too long though- because Harry Potter must have returned for a reason. And they needed to know why.

 

* * *

Sure enough, the trio haven't returned to hang out in the Room Of Requirement. There is work to be done. Something to find, they suspects it's some lost diamden, or whatever. Diadem? Some sort of crown or tiara, Lavender thinks. 

Luna takes Harry to the Ravenclaw common room to search for it, though Lavender really doubts that it will be there. Meanwhile, people begin to arrive. 

Fred and George, and two older boys who share their red hair. She thinks she heard them call the younger Charlie. 

The older is handsome and stands with his arm around a beautiful blonde woman who Lavender recognised as the Triwizard champion from Beauxbatons in her fourth year, Fleur Delacor. Though Lavender heard that she married the oldest Wealsey brother.

Many people who she doesn't recognise arrive, a pretty young woman with pink hair and a group of important looking men about her fathers age. Lavender even thinks she sees Professor Lupin.

People seems both excited and tense, it's a strange aura of emotion. She can't help wondering what Professor Tralawney would have to say about this all.

All Lavender can do is focus on staying calm, her hands grip the chair she sits in tightly and she taps her feet impatiently. She is desperate to know what is happening.

Parvarti must notice, because she looks up from the spell book that she has been pouring over and reaches across, taking Lavenders hand in her own and squeezing it gently. 

If their fingers stay entwined until they go to fight, neither of them say anything about it.

 


	3. In which the battle has come to an end

Lavender heard Parvati before she saw her.  
As it happened, she couldn't see anything.  
Her eyes were closed, she could feel it- so she wasn't blind. The problem was that Lavender couldn't seem to open her eyes, they felt heavy. Her whole body felt heavy, she ached and she could feel that she had broken her leg, it was suspended in the air. So she was in a hospital? She must be, if she is being treated.  
For a moment she forgets why she is hurt, but the memories come flooding back quickly as Parvati yells for her.

"Let me in! Please, I need to see her. You don't understand- I need to!" Parvati's voice sounds afraid and determined and broken.

Lavender can heard someone pulling Parvati away, telling her, "She needs to rest,"  
A few more protests, a defeated sigh and a door closing signals Parvati's departure and Lavender can feel her heart drop in her chest.  
She tries to move, to show that she's awake, and that she wants her friend.   
She'd been so afraid that one of them wouldn't survive the battle.. but they have, and now she's not allowed to see Parvati?  
She's completely furious- how is that the nurses decision to make? Or some dumb healer?  
But in the state that she's in, Lavender's not in the position to argue, so she tries to relax, tries to sleep until she can see her best friend again.\

When she does get to sleep, Lavenders dreams are plagued with images of a beast of a man. He's terrifying- hairy, and laughing and snarling. He circles her, wandless and smirking. She must attempt to strike him, because his eyes turn furious and he lunges at her. He catches her waist and pulls her to the ground in one motion, his teeth sink into her shoulder as she thrashes, attempts to throw him off of her.   
But his teeth are sharp and they tear her skin as she pulls herself away from him. Her eyes sting with tears but she blinks them back, unwilling to show her pain or fear in front of this monstrous man. She points her wand at him and opens her lips to cast a spell. Any spell.  
But before she gets a word out, the man pounces again. He grips her by the throat. She can't breathe, and she claws at the air, helpless.   
She tries to cry out for help, but she cant get a word past her lips. As she struggles, she feels the man biting her again, this time its the space between her neck and jaw.   
He's going to rip my throat out, Lavender realises at she feels him release his grip on her throat and replace his hand with his mouth.  
I'm going to die.  
Lavender braces herself, praying to see her grandmother in Heaven. Praying Heaven exists. Maybe she'll see Merlin! Or Marilyn Monroe! She'd love that.  
Suddenly, though, she is pulled from her thoughts. Literally.  
Arms are pulling her from the mans reach, wrapped around her waist, almost gently.  
Her first thought is to get the hell away from the man (who is either a savage cannibal or a werewolf, and she is leaning towards the latter).  
The second is to thank her saviour.  
She turns, still in their arms and her heart skips a beat.

"Pavarti?"

"Aha! I told you, didn't I!" an excited, female voice exclaims,"I knew she'd want to see me! Didn't I tell you!"  
A man's voice hushes she girl and Lavender opens her eyes, thankful that she's able to this time.  
There she is, grinning from ear to ear when she see's Lavender waking, though she scared eyes are a little concerning, Lavender couldn't be happier to see her best friend.

Lavender tries to sit up, but feels a sharp pain in her shoulder and leg,"Fuck," she sighs, gritting her teeth,"Ow,"  
Pavarti quickly rushes to her side, away from the healer with whom she had been arguing.  
"You're okay,"  
Lavender nods, smiling,"So are you,"  
Pavarti's eyes soften, lighten up. And she's beaming at Lavender as if the sun shines out of her, like she's never been happier. She brings a slender hand to Lavenders cheek and brushes her jaw, where a faint bite mark lies.   
"Does it hurt much?"

Lavender shakes her head gently, the pain is distant. Like she is still dreaming.  
Pavarti smiles, retracting her hand,"Good. That's good,"  
Lavender almost tells her to leave her hand where it was, but thinks better of it.

"So.. did we win?" Lavender laughs, hiding her concern behind her sarcastic tone.  
Pavarti nods, grinning yet again, and she seems awfully happy recently for someone in a hospital.  
"It was.." Pavarti considers something for a second, biting her full lips, then giggles. It's so her. So Pavarti, so familiar. And it's comforting. It doesn't matter what happened. As long as she has Pavarti, and yet she does want to know.  
"It was?" she prompts.  
Pavarti shakes her head,"Sorry, yeah, it was pretty scary at first. After I got you away from the werewolf I heard screaming and Padma found me, pulled me into the court. You-Know-W.. I mean, Voldemort, was there. Surrounding by Death Eaters. And Hagrid-"  
Lavender gasps,"Hagrid? No!"  
Again Pavarti shakes her head,"No, just listen," she scold playfully,"Hagrid was holding someone, a dead someone. It wasn't hard to work out that it was Harry.."  
Lavender's eyes widen. No. Harry couldn't be dead..  
Pavarti seems to have read her mind, because she reaches over and takes Lavenders hand,"That's what I thought. But he wasn't moving and You.. Voldemort was shouting about how 'Harry Potter is dead', and that bitch Lestrange was running all over the place laughing. Everyone was furious, naturally.   
So Voldemort asks people to join him, and Neville steps forward,"  
Once again, Lavender is in shock. This year Neville has been so good, and brave, and Gryffindor! He wouldn't, he simply wouldn't.  
"He didn't. He told Voldemort where to stick it. It was amazing,"  
Lavender smiles, feeling oddly proud of Neville. They'd gotten to be quite good friends this past year- not that she would've said so out loud, not before today at least.  
"Then what?"

"Well here's the best bit," Pavarti grins,"The Malfoys start to make a fuss, telling Malfoy -school Malfoy- to 'come here'. And he doesn't go! Well, not at first anyway.  
He goes to Voldemort after a bit of loud whispering from his parents, and Voldemort hugs him!"  
Lavender almost chokes, how did she miss something so ridiculous. Pavarti is wearing a grin and squeezes Lavenders hand.  
"It gets better.   
So Malfoys about three steps from his 'Dark Lord', when Voldemort raises his wand at everyone, and suddenly Malfoy yells,'Potter', and he's not walking to his parents anymore. Now, he's fucking sprinting. Right to where Hagrid was holding Harry. Except Harry's jumped from Hagrid's arms and Malfoy is throwing Harry his wand. Malfoys own wand! It was mad!"  
Pavarti is slightly out of breath from not pausing to tell the rest of the story, and Lavender is just as speechless. For a moment.  
"Wow," she breathes a shocked sigh.

"When you think about it, though, it does kinda make sense," Pavarti ponders.  
Lavender must be staring like Pavarti has four heads, because the girl rushes to explain herself.  
"Well they've practically been flirting all our school lives- we just never noticed, because it's the way boys do it. With teasing and getting each other attention with insults and showing off,"  
Lavender is incredulous, Pavarti is suggesting that not only does Malfoy like Harry, she's saying he LIKES Harry. It's crazy. Completely mad. Malfoy hates Harry, he is always talking about how much he hates him, how stupid his hair is or his face or... Oh. But she gets it.  
How did she not see it? Almost all of her relationships began with teasing and showing off.   
The realisation must be clear on her face, because Pavarti is laughing, leaning into her, and Lavender laughs too. It feels good to laugh.

"So, if boys show love through being arseholes," Lavender considers,"How do girls show it?"  
Pavarti laughs,"By telling those boys to shove off," she jokes. 

"I think they do it through showing their love properly. Girls are much smarter than boys, we show love through being nice,"  
Pavarti giggles,"Good luck to you then, you're never nice," she teases.  
Lavender rolls her eyes, shoving her friend gently,"Shut up, i'm a delight!"  
"Yeah,"  
"Wait, really?"  
Pavarti smiles gently, and leans forward, brushing her fingers across Lavenders wrist, where their hands are joined, and lays her head on Lavenders shoulder.  
"Nah you suck," Pavarti whispers, sticking her tongue out.   
Lavender laughs gently and kisses Pavarti's forehead,"Love you too, jerk,"

"Love you more,"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I might write more?? I don't know?  
> I just love Lavender and Pavarti and all my minor characters?????


End file.
